2.09.2012

Last Day being 29 years old

Words are flowing out like
Endless rain into a paper cup
They slither wildly as they slip away across the universe.
Pools of sorrow waves of joy
Are drifting through my opened mind
Possessing and caressing me.

Jai Guru Deva. Om
Nothing's gonna change my world
Nothing's gonna change my world
Nothing's gonna change my world
Nothing's gonna change my world

Images of broken light, which
Dance before me like a million eyes,
They call me on and on across the universe.
Thoughts meander like a
Restless wind inside a letter box
They tumble blindly as they make their way across the universe.

Posted by PicasaJai Guru Deva. Om
Nothing's gonna change my world
Nothing's gonna change my world
Nothing's gonna change my world
Nothing's gonna change my world

Sounds of laughter, shades of life
Are ringing through my opened ears
Inciting and inviting me.
Limitless undying love, which
Shines around me like a million suns,
It calls me on and on across the universe

Jai Guru Deva.
Jai Guru Deva.
Jai Guru Deva.
Nothing's gonna change my world
Nothing's gonna change my world
Nothing's gonna change my world
Nothing's gonna change my world

~ The Beatles - Across the Universe

Today I woke up (my last day being 29), after a night broken by a few restless cries--Midnight-ish, 2 a.m.- ish. Not that I wasn't happy to be in the presence of idle time, awake, aware, and lathering in the atmosphere of still feeling, but ever still going, buzzing, clicking, spinning, a slow rock, like a mother does to her baby under the night light moon beam. And so the deep night brings me into the deep thoughts...I am on a planet suspended and fitted in the fabric of gravity and energy. The symphony of the universe never stops, it's always playing, exploding, imploding, enveloping, stretching, soaring, spreading out like a continual spill...hungry for expansion, for growth-- to where? Where is the universe going? Where am I going? Let's just say I lingered with my coffee today a little longer, sat on the couch a little longer, tried to slow down the pace, so I could just revel in my last day of being in my 20s. There was a spike of anxiety and sadness midday. I had to call my sister, Hanna, to just vent. Vent the, "But I don't want to grow up," sulk. Rambled to my husband, and then decided I wanted to go get Mexican food and a Dairy Queen, peanut butter parfait (wow, those things are huge). I am going to end the evening with a movie of my choosing and then wake up 30. Saying I'm thirty tomorrow is going to have the same strange feeling as when I said, "I'm married. I'm a wife," a few years ago. Just like then, I'll get over it and into it.


(Do what makes you prrr. Find your prrrpose! ~ a thought I had today)

My friend, Kim, organized a Happy Birthday card system, where each card has a number on it 1-30, and I am receiving them in the mail, from 30 of my closest friends. To orchestrate such a gesture is lovely and I am truly grateful to have such true and beautiful people in my life. I am tearing up reading all the memories my friends have reminded me of. Time is changing me, but, "Nothing's going to change my world," as The Beatles sang. I don't see my world of love ever changing, it's perfect. Welcome, 30.

2 comments:

Nicole P. said...

Not sure why, but this post has me tearing up! I love you so much; I hope you are enjoying your day. Sorry if my message was indecipherable. There's so much I want to tell you, so much I admire, but so little space!! I will work on that on this new year.

Happy Birthday, love.

Nicole Harris said...

Your messages summed up our beautiful friendship. You will always be a poetic and silly gal in my life: uber talented and ultra stylish!! love you!!