MY BEAUTIFUL GIRLS

My eldest. Captive in her thoughts. Drawn to the imaginary world. Sensitive to the world. Delicate as a flower. Prances happily. Cries tragically. Loves LARGE AND FULL. Never forgets. Sings to herself. Has a depth in her eyes that spans many lives. Appreciative and grateful, always. Everyday is a fashion show/art show. Likes to live life as a play-- creating roles for herself and everyone else (she even tells me my lines). Dramatic little bud, growing into a little bedazzling lady. She's amazing. (4 years old)

Precise. Quiet schemer. Face to face huger(cheek to cheek smashing). Mechanical mind. Nurturer. Motivated and determined. Climber. A true kind heart. Gives out pity pats in other's grief, without a thought. Runs to hug and wraps her legs around my tummy like a monkey. Growls like a tiger. Dances to the beat and mimics dance moves perfectly. Natural rhythm. Tickling cures her sadness instantly. Blanket goes everywhere-- a ritual twirl in the fist and in the mouth, the other hand gently rubs the silky end on her face. When she's really happy she scrunches her nose and makes the funniest sound-- something like a squeal/whine hybrid sound. She peers right through your soul and sees YOU, and LOVES YOU. (19 months)

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Personal Tid Bits:

Last night I realized there was definitely a God. A force of LOVE that we try to mimic as much as possible in our imperfect lives. When either of my little girls is going through a rough patch of change, I want to fix it, fix it perfectly-- quell their pain. I can't gather enough perfect by myself, and they know that I Try and my intentions are always good, but then I find myself in an inadvertent prayer, pleading for the ability to know what to do and how to do it right. I am at an alter, in my bed, crying in the pillow, exalting to a perfect love? I need help and the only thing I feel instinctively, is there is a source of this perfect love, that'll intercept and comfort me, and give me the patience, strength, and the ability to understand how to be in certain instances. The void is there, the faith is there, and that is the schematic of prayer I Think. I look back on my prayers and feel in the times that I was fully in the prayer, giving it all up to the perfect love: God, I quickly am at peace. I decided I can't be the best parent without God's guidance. xo, Nicole